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Post by ALYSSA MARIE HALE CULLEN on Nov 30, 2012 17:03:37 GMT -5
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Alyssa Mare Hale Cullen sighed as she paced back and forth in her room. She couldn’t sleep of course, no one in her house could. Her blue eyes scanned her room for something to cure her being board. She kept thinking about a certain thought. Alyssa needed to get away from this house and away from the nursery that she never took down. She wouldn’t let anyone else take it down either and her family understood. They knew she would when she was ready. She just wasn’t, especially since she missed her unborn child Nathenial. She had been doing much better staying at school and able to stay there the entire day and she could get through work without just breaking down and crying.
No one had even talked about her losing Nathenial over a year ago. It was still a raw nerve to her when his name was mentioned or she walked by the nursery room she had made for him. She still hadn’t had the courage to just give everything away. It wasn’t like she would need anything in that room any time soon. She couldn’t help it she had fallen in love with her beautiful baby boy and he was just taken away from her. She never wanted to lose anyone ever again and that fear actually paralyzed her. It really paralyzed her.
She sighed as she left her room and went down to the kitchen. She opened the fridge and looked through it trying to find something good for a midnight snack. She wondered where everyone else was. Usually they were around because well they didn’t sleep. Maybe they were out hunting somewhere. Alyssa didn’t know though that was for sure. She sighed and made something to eat for herself. She knew it wasn’t healthy for her to eat this late but she was hungry and bored.
Alyssa had never really told anyone this but she wanted so badly to learn to become a doctor like her grandfather. She wanted to help people and she knew everything that doctors today knew. She was a smart girl though and Alyssa loved learning new things so she read a lot. Her grandfather and Uncle Edward always had nice books for her to read and she found them very interesting. Thanks to her wonderful grandfather she got through this whole vampire thing and also learned French. It was always the small things they did for her that made her smile and love them even more.
The weather that day was rainy but it had finally stopped. Alyssa thought about going for a drive. Yes it was late but she knew her family wouldn’t mind as long as she left a note. She ate her food quietly then wrote a note and put it where they would find it then she walked out to the garage after getting her keys. She ran her hand down her 1968 Ford Mustang. She loved her mustang. Her parent’s had gotten it for her on her birthday. It was her favorite color red. She sighed as she closed her hand tight of her keys.
She got into her mustang and took off. She drove down the road making sure to abide by the speed limit. Her family didn’t have to but she sure did. She let the top down on her mustang so the wind was blowing through her hair. She drove into town and just drove around wondering where to go. She parked soon though and got out and started walking around the park thinking.
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Post by RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN on Dec 1, 2012 17:50:09 GMT -5
The half vampire, and half human woman stood still. School was piling up homework on her and she had already gotten through most of it—only because it was the same thing she’d done years before. That was the good side of having been a half vampire—to age like they did—to know things that most humans did not know. In the Cullen household it was rare for anyone to take a rest—as since they were vampires not a single one of them truly slept...although she and her cousin Alyssa could—but it was rare for either of them. The woman knew that her cousin was going through something—still grieving the loss of her unborn child—and she could understand that. She knew loss all too well.
Although she knew that with the nursery still being there—still being shown as though a new baby would be coming at any hour—it wasn’t a healthy atmosphere for her cousin but she wasn’t the one to have the kind of heart to tell her so. As it would be rude to say it.
Depression seemed to have set in on her younger cousin and she couldn’t help but worry. Sure her cousin wasn’t a vampire like the rest of the family but that didn’t matter. She was just as much her aunt and uncle’s daughter like she was her parent’s daughter. There was no difference. The family had stuck together through the good and the bad. Sometimes she felt like she was walking on eggshells around Alyssa for fear of saying something that would hurt her cousin. The only reason she hadn’t said anything about Nathaniel was that she knew that it would keep reminding her cousin of him—and that in order to move on she had to be willing to let him go—to accept that what had happened did.
But she knew getting over the loss of her child would take Alyssa a while and that grieving happened in different ways for different people. The half vampire had just come back from a hunt—sometimes she needed to feed just like her mother and father did—but for the most part she preferred not to if she could help it. Most times she could get by on eating human food, but sometimes it just wasn’t enough. Once she returned back to the house she got herself cleaned up and got ready to go out for the day. She needed something to do—something that would allow her a little bit of freedom.
Although she knew that blood lust was always something she was going to have to deal with—she had accepted her vegetarian lifestyle and chose to drink from animals instead of from people. The thought of hurting another person was more than she could possible bare. It was one of the reasons she had decided she wanted to help people not hurt them. Learning new things was something she had always done and had been smart—learning how to talk seven days after her birth and by the time she was seven years she was able to do all the things that even a young child could not do without help. To read at a good level, to speak as though she was older than she was—to learn and hunt—it was all so unbelievable that the Volturi had come after her so many years ago—after her family and she was glad that they had been able to prove that she and their family were not a threat to the Volturi.
One thing she and her cousin Alyssa had in common was that they both knew things most girls their age did not. She loved the same books that her cousin did—and loved anything that had to do with medical science. If she hadn’t been what she was---she probably would have joined in her grandfather’s footsteps to be in the medicial profession like being a paramedic. Helping people came naturally even if sometimes it was easier to avoid them.
The weather was perfect for the half vampire. Although she loved the sunny days but during those times she and her family would go off and stay out of sight due to the fact they sparkled like diamonds in the sunlight—at least more so than she did. Alyssa was the only exception—and she also had less of a sparkle than they did but that was because unlike her mother and the others—she had a heartbeat—which made her somewhat different than they were.
Leaving the house she couldn’t help but grin as she had seen her cousin’s note. She didn’t know where the others were at but she figured she’d go see what her cousin was doing and to make sure everything was alright. Taking off at a run—she escaped the house and it’s surroundings and what felt like an eternity later—she arrived in the area in which her younger cousin was parked at. At the park they both had come to know over the years. “I thought I might find you here, Alyssa. Are—are you okay?” She asked her cousin politely—keeping her tone at a level in which her cousin could hear her. After all she had been used to having to lower her tone when they were in the high school.
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Post by ALYSSA MARIE HALE CULLEN on Dec 6, 2012 20:03:28 GMT -5
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Alyssa loved walking through the park late at night to think. It was when the park was the quietest and she could hear her own thoughts privately. She loved her family but sometimes she just needed to get away, to be by herself. Memories flooded through her head as she thought about her baby boy. No matter what she still thought about him even when she wasn’t at the house. Yes it had been several months since it happened but to her it still felt like yesterday. She had gotten better though as she was now able to stay at school and work all day long. She had missed work and she was glad that her boss kept her position until she was able to come back. The whole town knew sort of the truth. They knew that Alyssa had been attacked by an animal and that she had lost her baby and almost didn’t make it herself. Everyone had been a bit sympathetic to her lately.
She didn’t want that though, she didn’t want everyone walking on eggshells around her. Yes she felt a little depressed still but she needed everyone, everything to be normal for her to get fully better. Some would say she read too many psychology books before but it was true, she needed normal in her life to get better. That was just how the human brain worked. At least she didn’t just break down and cry for no reason anymore. That was embarrassing when it happened at school. She had tried to go back before she was ready and had an emotional breakdown. Her father was there first and then her mother. They both took her home and made her sleep most of the day that day. After that they wouldn’t let her go back until they were sure she was ready for it.
She was happy to be back at school and work. That was the best thing for her. She still wasn’t ready to take down the nursery yet. It took baby steps to get better. It really did. She would take it down when she was ready and only then; sometimes though she wondered if she would ever really be ready, if she would ever truly get over what had happened to her baby boy. Everyone keeps saying that she would but she just didn’t know. She didn’t feel like she would right now. She just needed more time and everyone to quit treating her like she was some fragile human because she wasn’t. She had a traumatic event happen to her twice in the past year. There was bound to be issues floating around. She knew they were just worried and that they cared but sometimes she felt like they cared way too much and that was when she needed to get out of the house.
That was why she was at the park now, walking around just thinking. Soon she heard a voice she knew all too well. It belonged to her cousin, Renesmee. Renesmee was the daughter of Edward and Bella, her Uncle Edward and Aunt Bella. She was their biological child and her Aunt Bella had her while she was still human. Just thinking about that made things seem a little complicated at first but after thinking it over and over she finally got the hang of it. It didn’t matter though in this family if you were biological or not once you stepped into this family everyone showered you with love. Her Aunt Rosalie and Uncle Emmett had even adopted a child like her parent’s had done with her. Alyssa loved her family and she would do anything for them.
She smiled at her cousin and said Hey. She walked over to her cousin arms folded against her chest with a smile on her face. She hadn’t expected anyone to follow her but she was sort of glad. Thinking about all that has happened to her in the past year made her suddenly not want to be alone anymore. She knew her parent’s would flip if they knew she had come here alone, though knowing her mother and her mother’s power they already knew. What brings you here Nessie she said looking at her cousin with a smile.
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Post by RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN on Dec 6, 2012 23:14:06 GMT -5
The night hours were her favorite and not just because she was a half vampire but because in her mind the night provided the beauty that the daylight could not. Walking through the area where she had been walking she knew that the park was a good place to come and think and she came here often. More often now than before but that was because of what had happened in the recent years.
Her favorite cousin Alyssa, had been brutally attacked and left for dead by some unknown creature—whether shifter or vampire that was left to be determined. On top of the brutal attack, her cousin had lost her baby in the process of it. She couldn’t imagine what that was like to live through but then again she wasn’t even sure that she could have children. And although it had been months since the attack, she knew it didn’t seem that way for her cousin. She felt relieved only when Alyssa was able to make it through school and her job without wanting to go home before the end of the day.
She had been sympathetic because she knew her cousin was in pain—and had to overcome a loss like she could not imagine. It didn’t help the rumors around Forks, as everyone seened to believe that an animal of some kind had attacked Alyssa which had put even her on edge as she thought about it.
It meant something was out there killing—something that they didn’t have any idea as to what it was. But the question was how do you get over something like that? She didn’t think you could easily. Perhaps it was just that she wanted to see her cousin be happier. To be back to her normal way of life...although it would never be the same as it once was.
She knew that it was okay for her cousin to be upset and that her crying was normal—even in random moments when one least expected it. Sure it might seem a little embarrassing but there were worse things that Alyssa could havedone. She remembered when Alyssa tried to come back the first time—how it had caused her to have an emotional breakdown and her aunt Alice and uncle Jasper had taken her back to the house and allowed her to sleep it off. But she knew it would all take time. Time to get better—and to have her life return to normal, that was how she felt about it.
She knew that Alyssa was not ready to take down the nursery yet, and that was partially understandable as she had known that Alyssa had bonded with her son before she had lost him. She knew that Alyssa would take it down when and if she was prepared to, when she was ready for it...and not a moment until then. She had hoped that Alyssa would be able to move on and get over what had happened to her baby but sometimes even she had to wonder if that was going to be the case. If she didn’t—well she would be there to support her cousin either which way.
Although Alyssa was in fact a mortal human—she couldn’t help but worry about her cousin. Even though she knew that Alyssa didn’t like that. She also knew that Alyssa had a lot of issues that she needed to work through. She hadn’t seen Alyssa in a while which was why she was worried...but she knew everything would be alright. Instincts had told her that she should check on her cousin. And knowing her cousin as well as she did—she anticipated that Alyssa would be at the park. The whole family—needed a shrink sometimes. With as chaotic as their lives were, and although she knew that certain things happened in the past—that it couldn’t be changed, sometimes she wished they could.
Her Mom and Dad had a forbidden love when her mother had still been a human which led to her being born even though it risked her mother’s life—and she still felt guilty for nearly killing her as a fetus. Biologically or not—everyone in the family showered eachother with love—and everyone for the most part got along very well. Except with the occassional arguement or two—which was normal in any family structure. It was precisely why she wasn't worried when they argued, except when they argued with her father. It was a scenario where you couldn't win.
Alyssa wasn’t her only cousin though as she had a male cousin as well. A child that her aunt Rosalie and her uncle Emmett had adopted, the way that aunt Alice and uncle Jasper had done for her cousin Alyssa. She loved each of her family members and would do anything humanly—possible to protect them and then some. Why she had gone to the park in the first place was just to clear her mind. Although she was sure that more than likely her aunt Alice would already know where she and Alyssa were. Although her aunt Alice had been unable to see a future regarding her in general, so if she did see something it would be entirely about Alyssa. She moved forward toward her cousin with a reciprocated grin on her face. She really did love her cousin and wanted to be there for her.
“Oh you know, just kind of wanted to get out of the house. You know how it is.” She told her cousin which was the honest truth. She hated being trapped in that house at times. Plus she also needed to be able to feed and that was also partially why she had left the house in the first place. Although her appearance now would not dictate that she had fed on anything as there were no blood on her clothes or around her mouth to dictate that she had done something unusual...which was what part of her diet consisted of. For the most part she preferred to dine on human food as it was less messy and less complicated but sometimes she couldn’t stop herself.
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Post by ALYSSA MARIE HALE CULLEN on Dec 14, 2012 14:55:23 GMT -5
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Normally Alyssa could sleep. Normally she would get under the covers in her bed lay her head down on her pillow and fall into a nice sleep within twenty minutes of lying down. This was not one of those times. So she had decided to go to the park to clear her mind. She loved the park and she loved walking around and there were some things she wanted to think about but not let her family know. Every time she tried to think about some things on her own her family knew about it and tried to intervene. She didn’t need that right now she just needed to think. She didn’t need her mind to be distracted. She had to go through a process and think everything through. She couldn’t hide from what had happened forever. She had to face it head on and she couldn’t do that when her family kept trying to make her feel better all the time.
It wasn’t that Alyssa wasn’t grateful that they cared about her, she was. It just wasn’t what she needed. Only she knew what she really needed and that was why she came to the park a lot at night, to think about what she needed to. To work through what she needed to. She was even getting better and closer to packing up everything in Nathan’s room. Who knew maybe she would have another baby in the future, a boy and she could use what she had for Nathan’s room. She knew this wasn’t the end for her and she knew she would be turned into a vampire one day to stay with her family. That was her plan but maybe she could have a kid before that happened like her Aunt Bella did. All she knew really was she was on the road to recovery thanks to this peaceful alone time she had with herself at the park. Sometimes the house just felt too crowded with everyone in there.
She had been alone for a while thinking when her cousin Renesmee showed up at the park. She figured her cousin saw her note that she left at the house and just wanted to make sure she was okay. That was how it was constantly for her lately but she was okay with that. She knew everyone worried about her. She was human and fragile after all and so many things had happened to Alyssa that she was surprised her parent’s didn’t trap her in a glass box or something like that forever so she would stay safe. Her family was just looking out for her and she loved how they were all so close even though none of them were biologically related except Nessie and her parent’s. She had wondered what Nessie was doing there and she asked her about it. Her response was sort of like Alyssa’s. She just needed to get out of the house.
She smiled at her cousin and said yeah me to. She couldn’t blame her cousin for wanting to get out as well and she totally understood. It was hard to have secrets at that house or have peace and quiet for that matter. Nessie’s father, Alyssa’s Uncle Edward, could read minds except for Bella’s so he knew what everyone was thinking. So no secrets and no thinking about sneaking out. Then there was her mother, who could see into the future once someone chose to do something, so again no secrets and no sneaking out. Then there was her father who could feel and manipulate people’s emotions. He always knew when she was upset about something so no hiding anything from him. Alyssa didn’t know what the point in trying to lie to anyone of them was so she didn’t do it. It wasn’t like she had any chance of getting away with it anyway. Yeah I know how it is she said to her cousin then added do you want to go over to the swings. I love just sitting on them swinging a bit to think. It makes me feel like a kid again and like nothing bad could ever happen to me.
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Post by RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN on Dec 14, 2012 18:29:41 GMT -5
The young woman knew that everything was possible. Night time seemed to be the most difficult. She was restless and she had rarely ever slept. Not that she needed to as she was perfectly fine if she didn’t. She didn’t like to intervene in other’s beliefs, or their choices. Yes she worried about people. It was in her nature. But that didn’t mean she went prying about their lives without their consent. As she didn’t like to meddle....usually.
Jacob had been a great asset to her as he had been able to calm her down when she afraid that something was happening....that her family was in danger. He was able to talk her down and help her to relax when no one else could. She worried especially about her human cousins, Alyssa and Katniss. That particular night things got complicated.
She’d left the house partially because she was thirtsty, but taking a drink of something other than blood just wasn’t doing the trick tonight. She needed to hunt and that was why she was out at this particular hour. She’d left the house quietly, knowing how her mom and dad would react if they found out as they didn’t like it when she went out alone.
She hadn’t even known that Alyssa had left her house. But she’d known that Alyssa was there when she had walked up to that park. Taking a deep breath she smiled at her cousin. It hadn’t mattered that her aunts and uncles were not biologically related to her father, or that her grandparents weren’t even her dad’s real parents. That hadn’t mattered. To her family was what you made it to be, and that blood didn’t always make people a family. It was how one was treated, how a group interacted, with love and compassion and an instinct to protect eachother that made them a family.
“Yeah I knew I wouldn’t be the only one sneaking out tonight. I just—that house is only big enough for us once in a while—but for the most part with as many people that live there—it’s too crowded. And you can’t think without being interrupted.” She told her cousin as she knew just how Alyssa felt. Not about losing a child but everything else. Of wanting to be a teenager and to just have fun without her parents finding everything out. But with her dad who could read minds, her aunt Alice who could see intot the future once a clear decision was made, and her uncle Jasper who could easily bend one’s emotions....to control it, in a manipulative way, and so there was no way even she could avoid their questions. “Sure, do you want me to push you?” She asked as she wasn’t really in the mood to just sit and swing. So that’s why she offered to push her cousin on the swings, even though she was sure her cousin could easily do it herself but she figured she’d be able to use part of her strength into it. “Coming to the park, it’s always been my refuge... my solitude. Of course Mom and Dad usually knew where I went but for the most part they’d left me alone unless I was out past curfew. Their curfew, not the legal one. I swear sometimes I think they hate letting me out of the house without them with me. Your secret’s safe with me.” She chuckled lightly.
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Post by ALYSSA MARIE HALE CULLEN on Jan 22, 2013 18:55:56 GMT -5
Alyssa knew that her mother probably already knew where she was by now. She always knew where Alyssa was no matter what. It was because of her power. She could see what Alyssa’s decisions would lead to, sometimes though her mother was a little late in trying to prevent something from happening. Her mother was more watchful of her after the recent events that had happen to her. She knew her mother was just trying to protect her but Alyssa did need some space, some air to breathe. Everyone was constantly watching her and she just needed to be unwatched for like five minutes or something. That was where the park came in. When she needed a break she would sneak off to the park until her mother would realize where she was and come and haul her back to the house; maybe since Nessie was here though she wouldn’t. That would be nice.
Alyssa listened to her cousin talk about how she felt sometimes in the house. Alyssa could agree with her on that. She knew how her cousin felt. It was just so hard to have your own personal thought or idea in the house without her mother seeing what consequences would lie ahead or her Uncle Edward would hear someone’s thought. It was troubling at times because you wanted peace and everything Alyssa had been going through lately she didn’t want anyone prying into her thoughts and emotions. She didn’t want her father to calm her down every time she was upset. Lately she had been doing well but she had times like this. There were times where she was doing exceptionally well and then another rough patch would come again. The school counselors told her grandparents that she should talk about what happened with someone but Alyssa wouldn’t. She didn’t want to do anything that meant relieving what took place.
Yeah it can be a bit crowded there she said in a rough voice. She cleared her throat and sighed. Alyssa shook her head. No I am actually going to swing I just like to sit in them. Come on try it she said with a smile and ran over to the swings sitting on one of them. For me please she asked her cousin. She looked down as her cousin spoke. Yeah I know how you feel. That is how mom and dad has been with me since the….you know she said making sure not to say attack. They are just being protective though she said not looking at her cousin.
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Post by RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN on Jan 24, 2013 16:14:42 GMT -5
She wasn’t a fool by any means. Her family was different than the average family by far. And it wasn’t just because most of them were vampires. No, it was because of how they acted with one another. Sure there were petty arguements for the most part, but they each seemed to take it in stride. She was happy she didn’t have her aunt Alice’s power. It would probably drive her crazy, even if it was useful. Although the fun part was whether or not she would see what the decision was in time. Her family was very protective over one another especially after recent events. Even still she loved going to the park, it was her sanctuary. Someplace where she felt the most at ease when Jacob wasn’t around. However, the one good thing about being what she was, her aunt Alice couldn’t see her future. It meant she could get away with things a litle more. Maybe that would mean Alyssa would be fortunate enough not to get caught by what her mother could potentially be seeing, that was something they could both hope for. Especially with her father being able to read minds and Alyssa’s mom was able to see the future. It was troubling at times to get a sense of what the term peace of mind actually meant. And even Alyssa’s father, her uncle Jasper, could calm someone down due to his power to control the emotions of others—which sometimes helped but hell, sometimes it just wasn’t enough. She may not understand half of what Alyssa had gone through as she had never experianced it herself. If she had maybe Alyssa would be able to talk to her about it, instead of bottling it up inside like always.
She knew that Alyssa wasn’t ready to relive—to remember what had happened to her and to her baby boy. She walked over to the swings and began to push her younger cousin. She loved her family and would do anything for them and they knew it too. “Yeah I know everyone’s protective of eachother. Especially because they know what’s out there...just like you and I do. It’s a dangerous world we live in....more dangerous than most. And since you’re human they’re going to be even more protective of you. I’m smothered sometimes by their protection. Luckily Aunt Alice can’t see my next move—due to my being a half-breed, as Aunt Rosalie says. Of course it also doesn’t help that I hang around a bunch of shifters too. Which I know everyone doesn’t exactly appreciate due to the stench I bring home with me. But you know, I love Jacob...he imprinted on me, and I can’t imagine my life without him even if he does make me angry sometimes.” She couldn't help but chuckle as she kept an eye out. Being a Half Vampire made her more aware of her surroundings than most her age would be.
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